My Secret Life: An Erotic Diary of Victorian London (Signet Classics)

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This description of the genitals, and their mode of meeting, has probably in it many errors and omissions, for I am not a doctor, but it was all I knew about it when I wrote it. No attempt is made at anatomical definition or exactitude —. It is what may be termed essentially a popular description, suitable to the smallest capacities, and fit for both sexes — or if you please — instructive reading for the young. It is, to the young, essential knowledge — yet the great aim of adults seems to be to prevent youths from knowing anything about it. She told me my cousin Emily had fine limbs; of the quarrels of another cousin with her husband when staying at the Hall, of the way Mrs. *** (the cousin di- the worst and most painful features, sleepless nights, and more than a month passed before I was well. — When I called on Mrs. H* * * *s she had left, and gone no one knew where, and years elapsed before I set eyes on her again, and as there is so little more to tell, I may as well complete at once the narrative of so much as I know about her. Then I went on a visit to one of my uncles in the North. He had married a prudish sort of woman, and they lived on their fortune and on their estate which was mainly hers. — He let his farms reserving the game, and I went to see him usually once a year, and

After the first day we never took but the slightest notice of each other when we met in the town, nor did I dine near her, nor do much more than bow slightlyThis brought me at times funny remarks from some of the lovely libidinous creatures. — Said one, "None of that — that's virgin." "My dear it is only curiosity."

bad one. I called when well at the end of four weeks or so, saw N**l*e and told her I was not angry, and that such things would happen. — But she denied most indignantly that she had caused it, she had never had an ailment in her life, some beast of a woman must have given it me, but not she. I waited up stairs till I heard the servant go towards the drawing room with the tea, then I went down — and Hannah and I laughed at each other before the servant, for falling asleep. — "I thought you were going to ***," said she. The servant heard it all. "I shan't go out now," I said. — "I'll put on my slippers," and so saying went to my bed room. As I did so, something made me feel sure that Hannah would go to her bedroom, to feel her cunt, or wipe, or wash it, or piddle, or do something with it; and my bed room was just round the corner and not thirty feet from hers. I went to my bed room. — She soon appeared in the lobby holding a tray, — went into Hannah's room — and afterwards entered mine. — "She's sitting up in bed drinking her tea," said she. Then Bates laid down was dying. I never told her about the general turn out of servants in my house, or what James said he had done to the cook, thinking the less I said about those things the better. From first to last I had about three weeks enjoyment of her, for she was only a day past her monthly period, when the accusation came, by which she lost her situation, and I had her up to a day or two before her courses were forced on by the doctor.The headings of the chapters are now written for the first time. — They will be needful if this be printed. Now I resume my narrative.] I met her a few times after that in a hurried manner, and then had another night with her. She drank wine rather freely, and told me about the death of her intended, the night before her marriage, and that he had had her, that the fear of its being found out, after his death, drove her for awhile out of her senses. He had only done it to her three times, and she had never had any other man but him, and myself, — which I don't quite believe. Joey had grown a big hobledehoy before his time, and was turned fourteen years old. — Forgetting what I had been at his age, — my desires to know what a cunt really was, — my languishing inclinations towards females, I now treated him as a child, and only thought of him as the little piddling imp, who formerly gave me